Category: Random Posts

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Patsy Kensit “Stops washing her hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Actress” Patsy Kensit has said she was so upset to find her grandfather was a criminal on TV show Who Do You Think You Are? she stopped washing her hair.

The Holby City “star” told the Radio Times she also started binge-eating burgers after it was revealed he was imprisoned for theft.

The actress quit the show and had to be convinced to complete filming.

The “actress”, who was already aware that her father had been imprisoned and had links to the Krays, decided to make the programme to get some “closure” about her family past.

Pie and mash

“Dad died when I was 17, so I stupidly thought that this would be quite a romantic notion to find out about my ancestors. I just didn’t realise it was going to be so sad,” she said.

The revelation that her grandfather had been absent from her father’s childhood while he was in prison sparked the downward spiral.

“I was so livid with him that I hit rock bottom. I kept thinking how stupid I was to think that I could deal with this. I genuinely didn’t want to know any more.”

“It hit me so hard, I stopped washing my hair and wearing make-up,” she added.

“I was so depressed that I started binge-eating on burgers and pie and mash. I was so scared of how it was affecting me that I said, ‘I can’t do this any more’ and went home and locked myself away.”

The “actress” said a more positive revelation about her family history helped her to recover.

An ancestor who was a clergyman was awarded a degree for his work to ease the suffering of his flock.

“When the vicar told me his work was so valuable that they were going to write a book about him, I felt a huge weight coming off my shoulders. It was an astonishing story,” she said.

“That was the moment I stopped eating burgers and started washing my hair!”

Kensit said the whole experience of delving into her family history for the programme made her “appreciate everything I have”.

She added that she was “glad” she returned to the show, having wished she had not walked away from the part of Ross’s English girlfriend in US TV comedy Friends.

She was replaced by Helen Baxendale, having decided to sort out her troubled marriage instead. “I’ve regretted that ever since, so I thought I’m going to see this through. I’m so glad I did,” she said.

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Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 – July 25, 2008) gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving presentation, “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams,” Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals. For more, visit www.cmu.edu/randyslecture.

Rest in peace Randy Pausch!

[video:youtube:ji5_MqicxSo]
They’re Made Out Of Meat 0

They’re Made Out Of Meat

by Terry Bisson
From “Bears Discover Fire and Other Stories,” Copyright © 1994, Tor Books

“They’re made out of meat.”
“Meat?”
“Meat. They’re made out of meat.”
“Meat?”
“There’s no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They’re completely meat.”
“That’s impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars.”
“They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don’t come from them. The signals come from machines.”
“So who made the machines? That’s who we want to contact.”
“They made the machines. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.”
“That’s ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You’re asking me to believe in sentient meat.”
“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they’re made out of meat.”
“Maybe they’re like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage.”
“Nope. They’re born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn’t take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?”
“Spare me. Okay, maybe they’re only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside.”
“Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They’re meat all the way through.”
“No brain?”
“Oh, there is a brain all right. It’s just that the brain is made out of meat!”
“So… what does the thinking?”
“You’re not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat.”
“Thinking meat! You’re asking me to believe in thinking meat!”
“Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?”
“Omigod. You’re serious then. They’re made out of meat.”
“Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they’ve been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years.”
“So what does the meat have in mind?”
“First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual.”
“We’re supposed to talk to meat?”
“That’s the idea. That’s the message they’re sending out by radio. ‘Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?’ That sort of thing.”
“They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?”
“Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat.”
“I thought you just told me they used radio.”
“They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat.”
“Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?”
“Officially or unofficially?”
“Both.”
“Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multi-beings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing.”
“I was hoping you would say that.”
“It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?”
“I agree one hundred percent. What’s there to say?” `Hello, meat. How’s it going?’ But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?”
“Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can’t live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact.”
“So we just pretend there’s no one home in the universe.”
“That’s it.”
“Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You’re sure they won’t remember?”
“They’ll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we’re just a dream to them.”
“A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat’s dream.”
“And we can mark this sector unoccupied.”
“Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?”
“Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again.”
“They always come around.”
“And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone.”

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Chess boxers slug it out

A RUSSIAN man has been crowned world champion in the novelty sport of chess boxing, a game that requires equal skill at moving pawns and throwing punches.

Mathematics student Nikolai Sazhin, 19, competing under the name “The President” knocked out a 37-year-old German policeman Frank Stoldt, who served as a peacekeeper in Kosovo until recently.

The loser said he was simply too punch-drunk to fend off checkmate.

“I took a lot of body-blows in the fourth round and that affected my concentration. That’s why I made a big mistake in the fifth round: I did not see him coming for my king,” he said.

Berlin is home to the world’s biggest chess boxing club with some 40 members and it is in an old freight station here that the two men settled the matter early yesterday.

The match began over a chess board set up on a low table in the middle of a boxing ring.

Stripped to the waist, wearing towels around their shoulders and headphones playing the lulling sound of a moving train to drown out the baying crowd, the men played for four minutes.
Then off came their reading glasses and on went the gloves and the mouthguards.

For three minutes they beat each other and then, when the bell went, the chess board was back in the ring and they picked up the gentlemanly game where they had left off.

“This is the hard part, you are out of breath but you have to keep your wits about you,” said David Steppeler, a 33-year-old instructor at the local chess boxing club.

“It is especially hard for the one who has to play first. He can easily make a false move, and in chess this is fatal. So in training we toughen people by making them do push-ups between every two chess moves.”

A chess boxing match consists of six rounds of chess and five in the ring but it can also end suddenly in knockout or checkmate.

Alternatively one of the players can be disqualified for taking too long to make his move in the chess rounds or breaking the boxing rules.

The weekend saw two matches apart from the world title bout and some of the competitors might have felt equally at home in a MENSA club meeting. One had a doctorate in biochemistry, another held a degree in political science and two were teachers.

The best in the world of chess boxing score somewhere between 1700 and 2000 points on the ELO chess rating system – putting them on a par with those who perform well in the sport at club level.

Perhaps fittingly, the sport had its beginnings in a comic strip by the French author Enki Bilal, titled Equator Cold that hit shelves in 1992.

The last work in Bilal’s The Nikipol Trilogy features a blood-stained chess boxing battle set in an apocalyptic city in 2034.

In 2003, the young Dutch artist Iepe Rubingh decided to bring it all to life, but with less brutality, and organised the first match.

“But the way we do it is not as dark as it was in the comic strip. For me the thing is to channel your violence, to control it. Hence the marriage between boxing and chess,” said Rubingh, who is the president of the international federation of chess boxing.

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Lucky Copper!


Top this for a speeding Ticket!

Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick, east of Edinburgh, were involved in an unusual incident, while checking for speeding motorists on the A1 Great North Road.

One of the officers (who are not named) used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300mph.

The machine then stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.

The radar had in fact locked on to a NATO Tornado fighter jet over the North Sea, which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Borders district.

Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint to the RAF Liaison office.

Back came the reply in true laconic RAF style. “Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado had automatically locked on to your ‘hostile radar equipment’ and sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, the Sidewinder air-to-ground missiles aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also locked on to the target. Fortunately the Dutch pilot flying the Tornado responded to the missile status alert intelligently and was able to override the automatic protection system before the missile was launched.”

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Translate Server Error

So your designing a huge billboard that’s going on public display and your boss says “I want it in English Too!”

do you:

A:- Hire a professional translator.
or
B:- Use a website and copy the text from there.

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Drunken Swede tries to row home

A last drink proved one too many for a 78-year-old Swede who fell asleep while trying to row home – from Denmark.

Reports say the man had been drinking in the Danish town of Helsingor but found he did not have enough money for the ferry home to Sweden.

Instead of waiting until morning, he stole a dinghy and tried to row the 5km (three miles) across the Oresund Strait to Helsingborg, police said.

But he fell asleep half-way and drifted until he was rescued by the coastguard.


Map of Demark and Sweden

The man, who has not been named, was found still asleep in the bottom of the boat, and towed back across the strait – a busy shipping lane – to Denmark.

He was put on the next ferry home after he had sobered up, writes the Danish news service Ritzau.

Police said the owner of the dinghy had decided not to press charges, Reuters reports.

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Bros reunion tour plan revealed

Bros could become the latest boy band to reform and go on tour, singer Matt Goss has revealed.


Bros had 11 top 10 hits in the UK as well as three top 20 albums

Goss, together with twin brother Luke, on drums, and bassist Craig Logan, enjoyed huge success in the late 1980s with hits including I Owe You Nothing.

“If we can make the numbers work and the venues work, then we’re all up for it,” said Goss, now 39.

He was speaking at the film premiere of his twin brother’s latest film Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

“Being in a band is like being a politician, you’ve got to make sure everyone is happy,” Goss said.

“But Luke, Craig and definitely myself – we’re all up for it.”

Bros had 11 hit singles, including When Will I Be Famous? and Cat Among Pigeons, and three top 20 albums in the UK.

“I had the best time,” he said.

“I think everyone that went to see Bros gigs had the best time and that’s the one reason we all agreed it’d be a good laugh if we did it.”

He said he thought the band would still have the support of the original “Brosettes”.

“They’re still pretty insane,” he added.

“They weren’t too cool for the room – they knew how to have a good time. That’s the way I feel.”


Bassist Craig Logan has gone on to be a successful music business executive

Logan, who went on to become managing director of Sony BMG-owned RCA Records, left the band in 1989.

Bros came to an end in 1992.

Matt Goss is still recording music as a solo artist while Luke Goss has acted in a number of stage shows and US films.

PLEASE NO!!!! BROS WERE RUBBISH!

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Lexus rollover in parking lottery



Police are investigating a crash in which a £30,000 SUV ended up parked on top of two other cars, one of them a Porsche sports car worth up to £45,000.

It happened at about 1700 BST in the car park of the Co-Op supermarket on Belfast’s Lisburn Road.

The vehicle, an automatic Lexus, drove over the Porsche and a Toyota Celica, which were parked directly in front.

The Porsche Boxster was damaged on its wing and bonnet, while the Toyota Celica was crushed.

One person, believed to be the Porsche driver, was taken to hospital.

His injuries are not believed to be life-threatening.

The BBC spoke to the driver of the Toyota, but he said he was “not in the mood to give interviews”.

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What is a Munchy Box?

In the west of Scotland, in the towns and villages surrounding Glasgow, there is a delicacy available in some of the more discerning fast-food outlets. It’s called the Munchy Box (sometimes just Munch Box) and it’s a sight to behold. The one I bought for this article is a regular-sized one, in a 10″ pizza box for about a fiver, but they can come in 12″ or beyond for eight quid and up.


The box. Give me the box.

Upon opening your Jock Monsieur, you will see a layer of Doner Kebab meat on top of a Naan Bread, maybe with some Glasgow Salad (chips) poking out from underneath. The wonders that await!


mmm … kebabby goodness

Once the top layer has been removed, you can clearly see the two tubs of Sauce, the Glasgow Salad on the left and the Crappy Salad in the middle with the Onion Rings, Pakora and Chicken Tikka all huddled together for warmth on the right.


How much food?

Munchy Box was the £4.95 10″ from Tandoori Nights, Stonehouse.

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Nuclear threat sparked tea worry

Nuclear weapons presented “much more difficult food defence problems”

The threat of a nuclear attack on the UK in the 1950s caused concern over the supply of tea, top-secret documents which have now been released reveal.



Government officials planning food supplies said the tea situation would be “very serious” after a nuclear war.

“It would be wrong to consider that even 1oz per head per week could be ensured,” they stated.

The papers were released under the Freedom of Information Act by the National Archives at Kew.

Heart and health

The documents said a nuclear conflict would result in the loss of three-quarters of tea stocks.

One paper from April 1955 said: “The advent of thermonuclear weapons… has presented us with a new and much more difficult set of food defence problems.”

The aim was to be “completely ready to maintain supplies of food to the people of these islands, sufficient in volume to keep them in good heart and health from the onset of a thermonuclear attack on this country”.

“It has become increasingly clear that the severity of the attack which the enemy could launch would produce a catastrophe in the face of which past measures would be fatally deficient,” the document added.


Food stockpiles

For planning purposes, the Ministry of Food listed London, Birmingham, Merseyside, Manchester and Clydeside as H-bomb targets.

Tyneside, Teesside, Leeds, Sheffield, Hull, Derby, Purfleet in Essex, Southampton, Portsmouth, Bristol, Plymouth, Cardiff, Coventry and Belfast were named as A-bomb targets.

Subjects down for discussion were arrangements for stockpiling food, emergency feeding and equipment, and the availability of bread, milk, meat, oils and fats and tea and sugar.

Methods successfully used in World War II would be “unable to maintain bread supplies under the conditions envisaged”, the documents said.