Monkey Review Blog

2

GTA 4 just out for the ZX Specturm! EXCLUSIVE!!!!!!

We can exclusively reveal that in a shock move Rockstar Games in Edinburgh have released a demo of Grand Theft Auto IV early exclusively on the ZX Spectrum!

The game requires that you load up a specially adapted Windows XP that over clocks the Z80 CPU traditionally @ 3.5 MHz to 3.5 GHz!

We are currently on tape 25 of 300 having a “R Tape loading error, 0:1” failure the first attempt.
Having realigned the head our second attempt at loading has taken 4 hours so far…..

Exclusive screenshot!!!!

0

Drunk Russian wakes up with a knife in his back!

Drunk Russian sleeps off knifing

Russian men drinking vodka (archive image from 2007)
One report said the two men had been drinking vodka

A Russian man trying to sleep off a night of after-work drinking failed to notice a six-inch (15-cm) knife in his back – until his wife woke him up.

Yuri Lyalin, 53, took a bus home, ate breakfast and apparently slept like a baby before his spouse noticed a handle sticking out of his back.

He was rushed to casualty but doctors found no vital organs damaged.

Mr Lyalin shrugged the episode off but the drinking partner who stabbed him faces trial, Russian media report.

“Unique and intriguing the case may be, but the accused faces a severe punishment,” said Pavel Vorobyov, a deputy prosecutor in the northern city of Vologda.

‘We were drinking’

Mr Lyalin, an electrician, had spent the evening drinking with a watchman at his workplace when they got into an argument, Interfax news agency reports.

The morning found him waking up in the watchman’s office but instead of going back to work, he decided to take the bus home.

At home, Mr Lyalin had some sausage from the fridge and lay down to sleep, the Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper says.

After a couple of hours, his wife noticed the handle sticking out of his back and called an ambulance.

Viktor Belov, a surgeon who treated him, found a kitchen knife in Mr Lyalin’s back but “by good fortune, it had gone through soft tissue without touching vital organs”.

His alleged attacker reported the crime to the police himself, Interfax adds. Mr Lyalin apparently feels fine and bears no ill-will.

“We were drinking and what doesn’t happen when you’re drunk?” he was quoted by Komsomolskaya Pravda as saying.

Its amazing what Vodka can do for you!

0

Ardbeg 10 year old whisky

Ardbeg 10

Ardbeg 10 year old malt is one of the most iconic Islay whiskies. The distinctive green bottle always catches your eye from the other side of the bar. It’s not a hugely complex choice between Ardbeg and something that, lets face it … isn’t Ardbeg.

Its dark chocolate and syrup, balanced with a small bogs worth of peat smoke. Despite this seemingly strange mixture of base flavours, Ardbeg has a complexity beyond the usual Islay.

Basically this pretty much the best Scottish 10 year old malt on the market. It’s simply shit hot. It’s fucking fantastic. Drink some. Drink some now.

The Difference Between Work and Prison 0

The Difference Between Work and Prison

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.

At PRISON
You spend most of your time in a 10X10 cell
At WORK
you spend most of your time in a 6X6 cubicle
At PRISON

You get three meals a day, fully paid for

At WORK
you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it
At PRISON
For good behavior, you get time off
At WORK
For good behavior, you get more work
At PRISON
The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you
At WORK
You must carry a security card and open all the doors yourself
At PRISON
You can watch TV and play games
At WORK

You could get fired for watching TV and playing games

At PRISON
You get your own toilet
At WORK
You have to share the toilet with people who pee on the seat
At PRISON
They allow your family and friends to visit
At WORK
You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family
At PRISON
All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
At WORK
You must pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners
At PRISON
You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out
At WORK
You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars
At PRISON
You must deal with sadistic wardens
At WORK
They are called ‘managers’
THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE.

Whoever said that work was like prison hasn’t really taken a close look at the two. ;)